The wooden table I'm seated at oozes an oaky aroma. I've proposed a place the other two men I'm with have not eaten yet. The restaurant happens to be among the best BBQ joints in all Texas. Plates of brisket, beef rib, and sausage clutter our serving trays along with mac-n-cheese and corn casserole. Whenever you are introduced to new people, the majority of people do this over a beverage. If you're in Texas, you break bread to worm your way in their heart.
One Of the guys in all black with a short mohawk points a fork at me with brisket dangling off the end. "So tell me about the business that you work for. I understand who your boss is. Jake in the group August Burns Red, correct?"
Always wonder what people will think when I tell them that I work in mental health and music. It's a bizarre mix. Nevertheless, the mental health portion alone is where I knowingly fear they'll judge me. The stigmas are stickier than gum jammed below a movie theater chair. People assume you are a bleeding heart social justice warrior who wants people to pet kittens in a safe area on a school campus. That, or they believe you or your household had issues, and that's the way you got to the area. Both men I'm seated facing combat veterans like me, along with the word"mental health" has its stigma from the military. It may get you blacklisted and stunt your livelihood, but the army complex still harps about the issue given the pace at which soldiers kill themselves. All three people have endured losing a friend to suicide, so I imagine that they understand and proceed.
"Everyone Has songs or albums they hear on their best times and worst days, yeah? Like when you're going through a breakup or headed to the shore?"
They nod while one of these chimes in. "Or lifting heavy!"
I laugh and keep. "Jake, Who you said, had fans come up to him after shows and discuss how they grapple together with his lyrics. Out of these conversations, he heard a lot of stories that are hard. Everything from a break up to melancholy to suicide ideation. Combat in the army even, misuse, self-injury, isolation... you name it." They continue to nod while one of them scoops more mac-n-cheese in his mouth. "Jake wanted to assist his fans courageous their wounds, locate purpose, and find healing. He wished to create a legacy of life-transformation where his fans became emotionally secure and developed mental resilience and grit. Through community and by leveraging the power of technology we are ready to..."
The one with the mohawk can't contain his thoughts and interrupts. "That is outstanding! Everybody goes through tough times in life and I've had my minutes coming home from Iraq. That's the one thing we have got to do more of... exactly what you're doing. Having people become emotionally fit beforehand."
That is every time a significant problem within the mental health catastrophe appears on me. He was perfect. How we react to and think about mental health is completely backward.
A Fitness Center For Your Mind
There's A woman in the gym I attend in Austin, Texas who is made an incredible transformation. One evening while in a going-away party for a fellow gym I commented, "I really don't mean this to sound weird, but the work you've put in at the gym has shown and I wanted to congratulate you on your hard work. You should be really proud!" She grinned from ear to ear and thanked me, then explained how it's been a long journey towards getting healthy and she still had more barriers to conquer.
Whenever We see folks putting in the effort in their physical wellness, we applaud them. Whether they're obese -- or even when they're an athlete training for an IronMan -- we root for the men and women training their own bodies. Should you find somebody who's healthy in the gym you not ask, "Why in the world are you exercising? You're already fit!" Everybody knows upkeep necessitates work.
But the exact opposite is true of mental fitness.
If You visit a counselor people always assume something in your life is likely horrendously wrong. A year after my daughter was born, I had to explain to a bunch of people my wife and I were not seeing a counselor because our marriage was rugged. We had been visiting a counselor to check-in and make sure we weren't overlooking blind spots which could become potential issues. You take your car in for tune-ups to make sure it retains running so why the hell would not you do it for your psychological and psychological wellbeing?
Yet, When the majority of people talk about seeing a counselor or developing emotionally resilient, there is a cloud of shame that seems to surround the dialogue such as smog. While I've mentioned I still attend recovery meetings from time to time just about everyone assumes I'm on the point of relapse. Just like exercise at the gym, I'll only stay mentally fit if I continue exercising.
While The woman in my health club is making substantial gains, what could happen if she left the progress she desired but stopped exercising? Let's say she starts to eat junk food? All her hard work could be lost.
The same goes for when you go through conflicts in life. If you don't continually work at developing your mental health and self-love, you may get healthy for a season, but if you don't keep at it, then you'll fall apart. Those previous demons can come hurrying back, and perhaps even worse than before.
None Of this matters to a degree because how we view mental health is like telling a morbidly obese person they ought to get on a treadmill. It's responsive, and not proactive. We ignore the problem until it becomes life-threatening.
We Don't Care, Until We Care
Every mass shooting, star suicide, or reports of the bullying outbreak go viral, so the entire world only then reacts to emotional wellness. We demand a change of our legislators and society while the public outcry runs something along the lines of"we want better access to mental health!" Yet nobody can explain what they mean by that announcement.
But, This logic is partially flawed. Legislation won't make somebody more emotionally resilient. More accessibility to mental health options, advisers, or goods does not mean people will use them. Take it from our company. We offer men and women access to community and mental health resources every day, but several men and women refuse them. A lot of this has to do with the way we talk about mental health as I explained. It's a source of shame or condemnation as opposed to something we all actively exercise and promote. That is due to how we react to dreadful events around the globe. Thus if we speak about mental health, it always conveys the burden of somebody firing up a school, killing themselves, or being seen as too feeble to take care of life. Whether subversively or we're communicating to our culture that in the event that you need or would like to become an emotionally fit person, you better be pretty screwed up first.
That's Where the conversation has to shift within our culture. As social beings, we have to lift each other up communally. Every little change we've seen in our community at HeartSupport has been due to the community. It's other men and women lifting the person and supporting them along the way. Research by the World Health Organization has recognized this fact. They report:
"Mental Wellness is produced socially: the presence or absence of mental health is above all a social indicator and therefore requires social, as well as individual solutions."
If We continue to react to each bit of news we see instead of proactively shifting the dialogue, stigmas, and solutions -- then nothing changes. Rather, we must turn into a culture that encourages and spurs another to create the resilience we all need to grow mentally fit. Imagine what that would look like if we realized it? Less depression and anxiety. Fewer school shootings and bullying. Fewer keeping-up-with-the-joneses and more enjoyment of what you've got. If we could teach our society to become proactive, instead of responsive then we may just see a difference.
Until That occurs, I fear our news media cycle will continue to help keep us outraged because we grow farther isolated and ingrown, thinking we are helpless until it's too late when all the while we could have gotten resilient.
The Dialog, however, has to start with us. We need men and women to share stories just like they would at a gym. We have to continue to break the stigmas while our communities and friends champion emotional fitness.
And if this occurs? Hopefully, I will be out of a project.
